Three teenagers enter Humana, a second hand clothes shop in Hammersmith. They are all decked out from head to toe in the new Urban Jessie look. The tallest one is called Simon. He is the alpha male of the group in a skinny, weedy, thick glasses, grandad suit weedy ponce vicar’s son sort of way. Behind him comes an earnest, small dark haired studenty-looking girl (kind of late 90s Dora Carrington) and a jolly faced, plump bloke in coolnerd clothes that look make hime look like he’s pilfered his Dad’s wardrobe in 1979 (he is the Beta male, I suppose – still in testing). They all have outrageously posh accents.
Girl: Simon, like, you can do film at art school you know, yeah.
Simon: Hmmm. (he flicks through some shirts)
Girl: ‘Cause, like, you know, you don’t HAVE to go to film school to do film.
Simon: (while holding up a Godawful 70s kid’s shirt) Yah, but art school isn’t my thang, like, you know.
Tubby: (points at shirt) Oh wow, that’s, like, SOOO AMY.
Simon ignores him. Then he picks out another one, with little checks. “That’s like totally cool,” he drawls. “Yeah, like cool!” says the Girl. She picks something – “Oh my God, that’s, like, SORRY?!?”
Tubby: Yeah, totally, like, so ‘summer holiday’. (He hasn’t mastered the lingo. The other two ignore him).
Simon starts twisting the circular rail looking at the shirts – he’s an Individual and is only looking at the stuff most people would laugh at. Tubby tries hard to be heard by being even more Valley-Girl-meets-Latymer-Upper, but he’s getting nowhere, so just laughs at nothing. Then Simon picks out a shiny, big collared number.
“Oh my god that’s, like, Totally Woolworths!!!”, exclaims the Girl, and they all laugh.